Mix-tape of emotions: Vol. 3

I don't know what my problem is lately, but I'm seriously in a rut. My life is not what I want it to be. I love my sweet children and am so proud to be their mother, but I don't feel like I'm doing what I'm meant to do. I love staying home and taking care of them and getting to see all their special moments. I just don't feel like I get enough of that done. I'm always putting them off. I hate it. I'm going to put off their entire childhood, just so the house is clean and my husband is happy? Fuck that. They are growing up way too fast for me to "put off" playing with them or taking them to the park or anything like that. My husband is self-ish. He's more needy than my 9 month old baby. He's a grown man and should know better than to try to steal the attention of a child's mother constantly. I hate the fact that when Scott gets home from work everything comes to a halt. I have to change this. School is going to be starting soon and we have not done hardly anything fun this summer, aside from swimming. My kids need the attention from their mom and to have fun in the evenings and such. Not just during the day while their dad is at work. But how do I change this???